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Yes, I said it. Wedding. Most of my friends and some of my colleagues treat the word wedding as was a four letter word, but I bit the bullet and now a wedding is in my very immediate future. With this in the forefront of my mind I thought it would be a good idea to put some of my experiences out there for some other men to hopefully learn from.  And guys, you can be as much a part of the planning as you want. Plenty of women have everything planned in advance and all it takes is a single phone call to set things in motion, but some don’t. If you have good taste, your wife-to-be will appreciate your input along the way, and will occasionally defer decisions to you. I can’t stress enough, though, this one simple thing: there is no one right way to do things, but there are some wrong ways. Tact and etiquette have a role in your decision making process, whether big or small, and whether you choose to acknowledge them or not.

• The Ring. If you’re anything like me, this will be in the top three largest purchases you’ve made to date.  Without giving away how much I spent, the three purchases in descending order are: house, car, ring. Being in the top 3 purchases there’s one obvious tip I can give, that’s to spend a LOT of time thinking about it. You know your girl like nobody else so you’ll know what she’s going to like, but here’s something I learned about diamonds: 2 diamonds of the same color and clarity will not necessarily look the same. That means that you’ll want to actually see the diamond you’re paying for before they put it into a setting to be sure that you’re happy with it. Take a look at all the ring designs you can before deciding on one, or deciding to design your own. I didn’t see anything in stores that matched what I had in mind so I got the jewelry shop to custom make a ring, and now my fiancé literally has a one-of-a-kind ring.
• The Proposal. I can offer no advice here, as I’m fundamentally romance-tarded, just remember that bit about tact and etiquette.
• The Guest List. This should be the first thing on your list of to-do’s. Not the hard-and-fast guest list, but a close enough estimate of numbers that you are able to start looking for a wedding and/or reception venue.
• Budget. Number 2 on the list of to-do’s, and can be done in tandem with the guest list since it might be a limiting factor on the number of guests you will be inviting. Keep the initial budget as low as possible because it’s inevitable that costs will spiral out of control. Small spirals > big spirals.
• Pause. If you’re at this point and it’s only been 24 hours, grab a beer and relax. You’re in great shape.
• Set a Date. You don’t need to set a date the second after you are engaged. If you set the date for 3 months down the road and there are slim pickings for venues, you may want to change the date to get the place you really like.
• The Format. On the beach in Mexico? Drive-through in Vegas? Cocktail party? Plated meal with formal dance and all the bells and whistles? This decision will lay the groundwork for the rest of the planning process. Make it something you can both agree to and that doesn’t piss off the family.
• The Venue. There are tons of venues that are beautiful and expensive, and there are tons of venues that are tacky and cheap.  Look at all that you can; the internet is your friend here. Request information packages with pictures and menus, and ask about availability. We saw a place that looked like my Grandma’s living room. There’s nothing wrong with Grandma’s living room when it’s in Grandma’s house, but I’m not paying Grandma to have my wedding there.

This should get you started down the road to eternal bliss. I’ll add more as my own wedding date gets closer. If you’ve got something to add, please do, us men need all the help we can get.